You may have heard this phrased a little differently in the past but we are a reformed Christian singles website so to say “God’s Sovereign Grace is sufficient for Singles” may seem confusing. Let me explain what is meant by this.
Understanding God’s sovereign grace
God’s sovereign grace is a melding of two attributes of God, 1) His sovereignty and 2) His graciousness. God’s sovereignty is his total control of all things past, present, and future. He either causes things to happen or allows things to come to pass. He is the sole ruler of the universe who is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent. For Calvinists, God’s grace is mostly used in the context of Salvation. In Romans, Paul explains that God’s grace binds Jews and Gentiles together as the co-heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven. It is undeserved favor which conquers death and brings about salvation. Every Christian needs grace for the forgiveness of sins, to help lead them to return to God when they sin, to heal their broken hearts, and strengthen them in times of trouble or spiritual warfare. By God’s sovereign grace, every person called by God will have a saving relationship with Christ.
What to do as Singles?
Grace is also used in every day conversation. You hear it from people all of the time. By the grace of God, we arrived at our destination. By God’s grace we are healthy. By the grace of God, we have jobs, places to live, food to eat and so on and so forth. As Christians, all things are given by God and his gracious love for us.
So it is with being single and getting married. As a single Christian, God’s sovereign grace provides us a time to grow, learn, and reflect on him. It is a time to develop Godly character. But there is a God given desire for most of us to get married. Because of that built in desire, many of us want to rush the process and get married on our time, not God’s time. At times, we attend church primarily to look for a spouse instead of focusing and worshipping God. Christian singles go to socials and group events focused on the spouse aspect of group events instead of the fellowship and building up of other believers. We worry that we will be single forever and it gnaws on us. We force the desire of a spouse into every aspect of our single lives instead of “Glorifying God and enjoying him”.
It is especially difficult in the Reformed community, as we Calvinists have a smaller pool of eligible reformed Christian men or women to meet. Because of this “spouse search” mentality, many Christian singles eventually loose faith in God’s ability to bring about a spouse they can court for marriage when things don’t go their way. They abandon the idea of “Waiting on the Lord” and do things on their own to “Help God” with the process. This is a disastrous way to pursue a relationship.
Keep the Faith
Ultimately, we must remember that the Sovereign God of all creation is interested in even our singleness. We must strive to put him first in our life and surrender our desires for marriage into his care. In God’s own timing and according to His will, he will provide us with blessings from above. As it states in James, “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17 NAS.
For many Christians this is easier said than done. Many have been single a long time and it is frustrating to say the least. The above is NOT to say that you shouldn’t prayerfully pursue marriage or just give up in despair. We should make ourselves available when the Lord opens doors with opportunities to meet new people. Whether these opportunities manifest themselves as a church outing, a singles conference, a youth group activity, or yes, even a reformed Christian dating site. Take the opportunities that come your way and have faith that God’s Sovereign grace is sufficient for Singles.